LESSONS FROM LIFE’S SADDEST EXPERIENCE -LOSS OF LOVED ONE

I would rather be ashes than dust! I would rather that my spark should burn out in a brilliant blaze than it should be stifled by dry rot. I would rather be a superb meteor, every atom of me in magnificent glow, than a sleepy and permanent planet. The proper function of man is to live, not to exist. I shall not waste my days in trying to prolong them. I shall use my time.
Jack London
American Author

There is but one way to live, one way to Life, and that is to be MAD. What happens after your birth? What happens after your death? How often do these questions cross your mind? The world is full of uncertainties, a lot wonder through life asking the wrong questions and expecting the right answers; “How can I make my life better?” “How can I make it in life?” “What have I come here to do?” My dear friend, if these are some of the questions you’ve been asking yourself or people in the past, I suggest you stop right now and start asking the right questions. To get the right answers you’ve to ask the right questions.

In 2006 I lost three relations, all of whom were close to me. This incidence further opened my eyes to see some hidden realities about life, it has forced me to ponder more on the subject of life, living and dying. The experience has taught me so much which I would like to share. I have been asking questions and have dedicated my time to this task; I discover that a lot of people are not very clear on what this life is really about. We’ve all been focusing on the wrong things, I have been guilty of this in time past, I often thought the world revolved around me. Its funny how we think at times because we came into the world alone our thinking is sometimes limited only to ourselves. Life is often viewed from our own eyes; everything we do is influenced by a “self-centered” consciousness. Most of the time, it’s what You want, what I want, what she wants, what he wants, what we want, no one seems to be concerned about what “They” want or what “others” want. We are so personal in our day to day approach to life, no one cares about the next person and the next person doesn’t care any less about you either. Every man answers to himself, the world has become competitive rather than cooperative. We are in a race against time, we are in a fight against ourselves, it’s a battle for “self”. We seem to have all forgotten, according to the words of an American Author and Clergyman, Henry Van Dyke “What you possess in the world will be found at the day of your death to belong to someone else. But what you are will be yours forever”.

How early do we forget who we really are? Things that really matter have been sacrificed for those that don’t matter. Material possessions, personal achievements, fame, power, vain glory, these and many more are eating deep into who we really are and why we are really here in the first place. William Arthur Ward rightly affirmed this in his words-

“We are more than what we do…
Much more than what we accomplish…
Far more than what we possess.”

On hearing the news of the demise of my three relations, i noticed something peculiar about life, living and dying. The same comment was passed about the three of them. I discovered that at the end of their lives, no one was interested in what they had hoped for, what they had worked for or the material things they had left behind. People spoke only of one thing, whom they had lived for; at the end of their lives, people remembered only the impact they had on another’s life. I want you to take note of this truth, its shocking that they didn’t talk of “what” they had lived for, but of “whom” they had lived for. I’m sure they had dreams, might have achieved some and have died with many unfulfilled, but none was mentioned. Looking back at their lives, of all they did, nothing seemed more important than that which they did to others. The whole sum of their lives could only be measured, not in terms of how much they had in the bank, the kind of cars they had, the sort of clothes they wore or houses they lived in, the worth, the sum total of their life was measured in terms of how much lives they had touched. This is where the truth lies, the answers to all our questions, it is at the end that we really understand why we have been sent here in the first place. Listen, the whole of life, living and dying is for one thing – for others! You can have all that money can buy, have all the power to command a nation, at the end none of this would matter, because you have not lived but have only existed. You were seen by the world but felt by none. Your purpose here is not to make an entrance into the world; your purpose is to leave an impact behind in the lives of others when you are gone. You are not here to make a living; you are here to be MAD (make a difference).

“To have striven, to have made an effort, to have been true to certain ideals–this alone is worth the struggle. We are here to add what we can to, not to get what we can from, life.”
Sir William Osler
Canadian Physician and Teacher

I know not of another way to life, living and dying, than to be MAD – making a difference. In my study of this subject, i have come across lots and lots of proof for this principle. It is not one of the ways to live, it is not a way to life, it is THE way to life, living and dying. It is all that we have been sent here for, you have not been given life to make yours better, you have been given to make others better. The reason why you’re here is not to make an impression, but to leave an impression. This is what I mean in a Cherokee expression; “When you were born, you cried and the world rejoiced. Live your life so that when you die, the world cries and you rejoice”. You must realize my friend that your life is not really yours, but for others, it is in the giving up of our lives for others that we really find ours. History is filled with men who found their purpose in life, only when they began living for others. If you are looking for answers to making it in life, looking for ways to making your life better; the right place to look is not at yourself, it is in looking at others that we find the right answers. This is the bottom-line -

“Your life will not be any better than it already is, until you make a deliberate decision to be making a difference – to be mad!”

You must change your approach, your view of life from the “self-centered” point of view to the “people or others centered” view of life. Bill Gates, didn’t find wealth and fame by producing software programs for himself, he became rich by producing what others needed. It wasn’t about himself, what he wanted or needed, it was all about others. Henry Ford was so wealthy and became a great industrialist not because he sort after what he needed, but because he wanted a better life for all Americans; that every family should own a car. Angelina Jolie, world renowned movie star had all that fame, money, beauty could get, yet still felt that she had no direction in life. She found her purpose when she looked beyond herself. Since 2001 till date as UN’s Goodwill ambassador, she’s been in the business of making a difference in war torn countries and underdeveloped nations around the world. For those of you, who seek a better life; listen to what she has to say in her own words;

“You could die tomorrow and you’ve done a few movies, won some awards – that doesn’t mean anything. But if you’ve built schools or raised a child or done something to make things better for other people, then it just feels better. Life is better”.

What is that thing that you seek from life? Success, wealth, health, fame, power, peace, happiness, fulfillment? I say this is surely as the world remains; you have to be making a difference. There is no other way; this is the only way…The MAD way.
Friend, you have heard it all, now the choice is yours, you can either go out there and seek what you want by making the world different or you can go out there and reach out to others by making a difference.  I leave you with the words of Mike Dooley …”Life’s not about expecting, hoping and wishing, it’s about doing, being and becoming. It’s about the choices you’ve just made, and the ones you’re about to make, it’s about the things you choose to say – today. It’s about what you’re gonna do after you finish reading this”.

I hope this has helped someone out there. If you have been inspired by this, feel free to direct someone to this link or copy and send this to anyone who you feel needs this. My aim is that it gets to all those who want to be MAD.